Sara

There is a place, a secret place inside of me.
There is a being, a mysterious being, living quietly in that place.
Sometimes he goes away, I don’t know very well why. I just happen to go there for a visit and he’s gone.
It’s so cold and lonely without him there… I feel empty. Lost. Mediocre.
He understands everything so well, so much better than I do… And yet he looks at me with the eyes of an innocent child.

His name is Sara. I asked him why he had a female name, but he responded with his silence.
He doesn’t talk. He just doesn’t talk. I think he could if he wanted to... Maybe he wants me to learn other ways to express myself... other ways to listen.

Sara wasn’t here today. I searched for him everywhere. He didn’t come.
And my heart is breaking with his absence cos I came here to tell him I want us to have a baby together.
Oh, life doesn’t make any sense without Sara! If at least I could have a child from him, maybe I’d be able to feel his presence at all times.
Sara is my true love. The one that was promised to me. I found him. And he is inside.

Sweet Sara, why do you leave me like this? I can see the love in your eyes…
I want to caress you but I’m afraid I might fall and burn like Icarus, cos touching you would be like touching the Sun.
And your silent, your eloquent silence. I know…
I know so well what you mean when your eyes touch mine.
I know what you mean when they don’t.

Sara likes being alone, but he doesn’t like to be forgotten. And we all tend to forget what we take for granted.
And so he flies away, disappears, vanishes in the air, leaving me all alone with myself.

Sara, wait! Let’s pack our things and run to the mountain. You know I can hear your whisper in the mountain…
But it’s just too easy to love and care for someone when there is nothing else to love and care for. And Sara is not a puppet. He was born a winner.
He won my heart for all eternity when I first saw him. Won it with my first breath.

He’s just giving me time to see it.